Friday, July 24, 2009

Things that are not so

Today I connected three illogical, recurring thoughts of mine for having the common thread of making me seem nuts.

When I played high school basketball, my teammates ogled over the pom squad. These girls were the athletic, shapely types who walked the halls with collective gusto for the world to see. I did not know many of them well, but my teammates did and stole peeks at their practice sessions in the field house when our coaches looked away. I never watched because I was embarrassed to even witness these teenage moments. Come on. It was varsity basketball practice, a necessary bloodletting for the glory of our storied school. I did not see room for sneaking around the separating curtain to dance with girls. Further, I do not remember any of them ever peeking at any of us. Handle your business; this was my mantra.

I began listening to The Killers some months ago. Now when I hear the song "Somebody Told Me," my mind's eye sees that entire pom squad dancing in their black leotards. What the hell? I never watched a single routine all the way through, and now I think I could orchestrate an entire performance. I tend to skip that track.

Weezer's "Island in the Sun" has a similar effect. But instead of seeing the pom girls of 2oo2, I see Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy and the gang shrugging their shoulders and shuffling their feet in a repetitive trance. This vision makes more sense since you yourself have likely seen the characters do this dance to "Linus and Lucy," but the connection to the Weezer song stumps me.

The third thought is the strangest. I make a yielding left-hand turn onto Old 86 from Eubanks on my commute home from work. When I check traffic to the right, my mind substitutes a cow for a cluster of mailboxes. I correct this fleeting error in a fraction of a second, but I see a cow every time those black-and-white mailboxes appear in my peripheral vision.

Now that is something you cannot find on YouTube.

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