I visit Canton, Illinois, twice a year over the holidays. Actually, I now visit Dunfermline since my grandparents moved two years ago to the nearby town/cul-de-sac that exists because of an annual fish fry/polka concert. These are the river towns of central Illinois.
My grandmother's three sisters, who all live on the same street, make up the many grandmas of Dunfermline. They bake cookies, mash potatoes and "warsh" the dishes. They also hustle "jumbo index" card games and grandchildren. They take frequent bathroom breaks. They take extensive smoke breaks. They curse motion-activated Santas around their country homes. They slurp Pabst Blue Ribbons not because it's cheap but because they like the crisp taste.
I'm a 23-year-old man, and I don't drink PBR in Dunfermline because I haven't earned my stripes. Besides, I don't like the crisp taste.
I love all of this. Your grandparents probably drink wine and play hearts. Sucker.
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