Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Oreo compulsive disorder

My girlfriend diagnosed me as an obsessive-compulsive Oreo dunker. Here is my recommended method.

1. Pour milk into scotch glass, leaving at least a half centimeter at the top for milk displacement on first dunk.

2. Put milk back in refrigerator immediately to enjoy future dunking.

3. Open either end of Oreo package completely, but do not tear sides.

4. Slide cookie tray out of package, exposing two to three cookies in each of the three rows. Do not completely remove tray from package.

5. With thumb and pinkie on the inside corners of exposed tray, push back each row with index, middle and ring fingers.

6. Remove cookie from longest row.

7. Rotate cookie to locate strongest edge of cookie with most cream.

8. Pinch said edge with index finger and thumb.

9. Dunk cookie into milk as far as possible without letting fingers touch surface of milk. Soak for four to six seconds. If fingers touch milk, give milk to girlfriend and pour a new glass.

10. Eat whole cookie in one bite.

11. Repeat steps 5-10 until satisfied.


  1. What the hell is wrong with you?

  2. i love that. absolutely love it. although, i prefer to change the end of the routine. do not dunk cookie as far as possible - there's too much risk of finger contamination - instead, dunk cookie halfway, soak for 2-3 seconds, remove, dunk again. eat soaked part of cookie. rotate grasp on cookie and dunk half of remaining portion. soak for 2-3 seconds, remove, dunk again, this time a little more than half, soak, and eat remainder of cookie.

    follow this with a sip of cookie-improved milk.

  3. dude jd, i think melissa's diagnosis is pretty accurate ;) besides, you have to eat the frosting seperately, and THEN dunk the frostingless chocolate halves :)